Written by Foundling Guest Blogger, Stephanie Kearns, Vice President of Business Operations.

 

In recognition of National Special Needs Month I’ll be sharing a series of blog postings about special needs and severe allergies with the help of peer parents who live with these fears or challenges every day.

 

Last weekend my family and I explored the local street fair for some weekend fun and tasty treats. As the day went on I noticed my daughter was covered in angry red hives triggered by an unknown cause. My stomach jumped into my throat as I tried to remain calm for her sake and run through the checklist of things to do when your child has an allergic reaction. After rushing her home to shower her off and administer an antihistamine, the hives faded away and she went on with her merry day. It ended up being a minor allergic reaction but that split second of fear is a moment I’ll never forget like all moments when you feel helpless as a parent. This is nothing compared to the life threatening reality of severe food allergies.

 

My first interview was conducted with Kristen Rutter whose own child, Giuliana (age 4) is severely allergic to peanuts and tree nuts. Kristen is an attorney turned Stay-at-Home Mom.

 

When was your child diagnosed and how did you discover the diagnosis?

She was diagnosed right after her second birthday. She had an anaphylactic reaction within minutes of eating her first bite of peanut butter. We immediately dialed 911 and she was transported via ambulance to the hospital, where she stayed for observation for five hours after the initial reaction. She was given a shot of epinephrine, a shot of anti-histamines and was sent home with a week’s worth of steroids. Knowing what I know now about food allergies, I consider us very lucky. We are so thankful we knew enough about food allergies that we dialed 911 right away. We had follow-up appointments with her pediatrician and a board certified pediatric allergist for further food allergy testing right away. 

 

What lifestyle changes have you made to adapt to living and raising a child with this condition?

Food allergies affect every aspect of our lives. The changes we have made are too numerous to list. The most obvious change is that we don’t keep any peanuts or tree nuts in our house. We also don’t purchase or use any products that may contain nuts or that are manufactured with nuts. We read every label of every product that we provide to our daughter and we have a strict non-sharing policy regarding food and drinks. We are very careful about where we eat out. We take our own food to many places and events including birthday parties, holiday parties, sporting events, the movies, school events and fieldtrips, etc. I make Giuliana’s lunch to take to school every single day. We have Epi-Pens in various locations including our home, grandparents’ houses, school, and a two pack in my purse at all times.

 

What are your biggest fears related to this condition and how do you cope?

My biggest fear is unmentionable. Food allergies are life threatening. There is no way to predict how severe a reaction will be. Every reaction has the potential to be life threatening. I am fearful that she may be bullied or made fun of because of her allergies. I am fearful that as she gets older, she might engage in risky behavior with unsafe foods because she wants to fit in. I am scared that she may not always carry her Epi-Pens with her when she starts to self-carry. My fears and concerns will change throughout her life as she enters and exits stages and ages. But my biggest fear will always remain the same. I am scared that one day, one bite could take her life.

 

How do you communicate the condition to other parents and caregivers, namely those parents in the child’s class or activity spaces (i.e. extracurricular activities)

I always tell teachers, instructors and other parents about her allergy and that she absolutely cannot eat or share any food or drinks with anyone. The rule is that she eats what we bring and that’s it. I will make an exception if I have spoken to a teacher or parent in advance and they have purchased and brought something that I know for a fact is safe for her, but all of that research and those conversations are conducted in advance. The rules are always clear-cut and we don’t make last minute or spur of the moment decisions. I talk about the signs of an allergic reaction and make sure that anyone who is supervising her knows what to look for, knows where her Epi-Pens are located, and knows how to administer them and what to do in the event of a reaction.

 

With all of the parties, celebrations, going away, welcome events, how do you ensure they are free of the allergen in question and do you take any measures to check?

The most important thing I do is call and speak to the host/hostess well in advance of the party or event. I learned to do that the hard way. There have been two occasions that I forgot to call in advance and one was a baby shower that, unbeknownst to me, was candy themed, and another was a birthday party that had PB&J sandwiches for all the kids. Both were very difficult situations to deal with. Now, I ALWAYS call the host/hostess before any event, no matter how big or small, to ask what is being served or if there is a party theme, etc. That way I make sure Giuliana has options that are safe and that make her feel included. If an event is being catered or is at a restaurant, I call the catering company or restaurant and ask them questions. I often make all of our own desserts for events and parties.

 

Do you have any limitations on what your child can or can’t do as a precaution from preventing an encounter with this trigger?

We do our absolute best to make sure Giuliana is included and able to participate with her family and friends in activities, events, fieldtrips, and whatever else she may be interested in. There really isn’t anything she can’t do without a little preparation, research and maybe some substitution. With planning, we have successfully managed parties, trips to the movies, play dates, school lunches, picnics, eating out, traveling, and even plane trips. We have gotten a lot of support from family and friends along the way.

 

Tell me an experience you have had, if any, with an uncooperative or dismissive parent who excluded your child’s from an event or activity due to her allergy?

I have heard nightmarish stories but I must say, we have never had a downright bad experience. Most uncomfortable or difficult situations have stemmed from my lack of planning in the past or from another parent’s misunderstanding or lack of knowledge regarding the severity of food allergies. I have not yet had (and hopefully will never have) an encounter with another parent who has blatantly disregarded the safety of my child or been dismissive and excluded her from something. We consider ourselves to be very compassionate people and try our best to surround ourselves with others who are compassionate and strive for the safety and inclusion of all children. 

 

What are the common misconceptions or misunderstandings about children with serious allergic conditions? Include any inaccurate vocabulary or derogatory words.

I think there is a definite lack of understanding regarding food allergies. Even I don’t know it all! Some people don’t understand that food allergies can kill. They think that a child might just get a stomachache, or a rash when exposed to their allergen. Many people don’t understand that food allergies are different from food intolerances. I will say it again, food allergies are life threatening.

 

A lot of people think that the amount of the allergen eaten has a direct affect on how severe a reaction will be. For example, someone might think that putting sugar cookies on a plate next to peanut butter cookies is okay because the sugar cookies don’t contain peanuts and how could one crumb kill someone? But it’s true, even the smallest trace amount of a person’s allergen could cause a reaction. That is why you hear talk about avoiding products that don’t even contain nuts but are just manufactured on the same lines as another product that does. Also, food proteins are sticky! Using hand sanitizer will not remove peanut residue from your hands. That is also a common misconception. Proper hand washing is a must. That also goes for cleaning surfaces, dishes and utensils, as well.

 

What are the top 3 goodies that a parent can produce at lunches, parties, or events that ensure your child doesn’t encounter these triggers?

Non-food favors! With any treats or edible food and drink, definitely talk to the child’s parent. What I would consider safe is not necessarily what another parent would consider safe based on their child’s needs and restrictions. Non-food favors/goodies are a great way to ensure every child is safely included. Pinterest is a great resource for finding different favor/craft/party ideas based on the celebration, whether it be a birthday party or holiday. Aside from talking directly to the child’s parent in advance and including non-edible goodies, look for brands that are top-8 allergen free, like Enjoy Life Foods. And then talk to the parent about providing something like that. Did I mention, talk to the child’s parents?

 

What about travelling? How do you go on plane trips, hotels, or even restaurant outings and ensure your child is safe?

It takes a lot of planning but we have done all of the above successfully! We try to be as prepared as possible. I always carry safe snacks in my purse so that we are never in a bind. We take a lot of our own food. With restaurants and resorts/hotels, I call in advance and talk to a manager about their food prep practices and feel out their level of knowledge regarding food allergies. When we fly, we take wipes and ask to board planes early to wipe down the seats we are assigned to. Sometimes the flight attendants will make an announcement regarding having a passenger with a severe allergy on board and sometimes they won’t. We have experienced both scenarios. We always have two Epi-Pens with us at all times.

 

What are the top 3 tips you would tell parents who do not have a child with a serious allergic trigger to best accommodate a child who does?

1. Talk to the child’s parent. Find out what the child is allergic to and what their family rules are regarding food and drink. Ask how you can help safely include them.

 

2. Try new products and substitutions! There are so many substitutions for things these days, like SunButter instead of peanut butter, or rice milk instead of cow’s milk. Introduce some of these products to your non-allergic children and explain why you are doing so. Children are naturally compassionate and want to keep their friends safe. You may also find that they love a certain product that is safe for their friend with food allergies. Everybody wins.

 

3. Do your best to safely include children with food allergies. A few weeks ago, my daughter had her blood drawn for her annual food allergy testing. It was a very rough morning and a difficult blood draw. We left the lab in tears and she was so sad, disheartened and down. Giuliana had swimming lessons afterward and when we got to the pool, a friend of ours who was there with her three boys had brought some nut-free fruit gummy snacks for the kids for after the lesson. When Giuliana asked if she could partake in the after swim treat and the other mom told her they were nut-free (and I verified of course), her whole demeanor changed. Something as simple as another mom bringing nut-free fruit gummies for the kids turned her entire day around. When you safely include a child with food allergies, you do more than just keep them safe. You make them feel loved, included and accepted.

 

Lastly, what are your expectations from other parents when it comes to packing lunches, carpooling, and field trips? Do you restrict your child’s attendance or blast communication and confirm everyone got the message?

I don’t expect anything. I have hope that other parents will be mindful and considerate when packing lunches. The most important thing I can do is maintain open, honest and respectful communication with other parents so that I am better able to prepare for and ensure my child’s safety in any given set of circumstances or in any given environment. So actually, yes, I suppose I do expect that: open, honest and respectful communication. 

 

*Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of The New York Foundling, its funders, regulators, donors and/or employees.   The information contained within this article is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, it is provided for educational purposes only.

Written by Foundling Friend and Guest Blogger Celia McGee

 

What Pet Should I Get?

By Dr. Seuss (Random House Children’s Books)

Ages: Pre-K-7 and the grownups who will enjoying reading to this to kids in their care!

 

As if one surprise publishing find and hoop-la of the year–Harper Lee’s Go Set a Watchman–weren’t enough, out pounces What Pet Should I Get? No deep shelter under a bright-blue rock or torrent of blinding snowflakes could have kept anyone from the news of this new Dr. Seuss release!

 

The sight and sound of the title alone represent inescapable hints that this is an addition to some of children’s top-of-the-pops favorites. With the return of the brother and sister from One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish of 1960, bells and whistles will go off for parents and grandparents.

 

Younger readers may not be capable or willing to notice, unless subliminally, that the gist and “Should” of this book by Dr. Seuss’s creator and alter-ego, Theodor Geisel, also reinforces the quiet strong-arming of a parental presence, which stealthily has the last word or admonishment in much of his oeuvre.

 

What Pet Should I Get?  is Seussiana in milder form. This trip to a pet store is devoid of pranks and barely-averted disasters. It’s to choose one new animal family member—strong quandary alert for sibling shoppers who amount to more than one. Its subjects include the difficulty of decision-making, weighing options, pros and cons, and taking measured mental notes to prevent too much agony of choice.

 

Most of the pets on offer are as well of this reasonably everyday world, though rendered in Seussian-world colors and quirky details that any child can’t help but love. And, oh, how glorious the few pages where Dr. Seuss’s rather goody-goody duo let loose their imaginations, concocting entirely preposterous and vibrantly conceived animals of non-existent species, un-encountered outside the Seussiverse.

 

The Cat in the Hat isn’t exactly back. Still, to what creature do those eyes belong, peeping out from the dark of the covered basket our boy balances on his head on the way home, and on the final, open-ended page?

 

Interested in purchasing this book? Make sure to shop on Amazon Smile and select The New York Foundling as your charity of choice!

 

 

Internships present a great opportunity for students and young adults to learn about working at a nonprofit. This summer, a group of interns from across New York City had the chance to see our work in action, collaborate with staff and make a difference in the lives of the people and communities we serve. Below is our final intern profile for the summer.

 

Where do you go to school?

 

I attend Bennett College, an all-girls school in Greensboro, North Carolina.

 

What is your favorite subject?

 

One of my favorite subjects is writing. Writing allows me to tell stories I know and hold closest to me. It also allows me to voice my opinion on different subjects.

 

Where do you see yourself in five years?

 

In five years from now, I see myself still in school, possibly getting a Master’s Degree.  

 

Who is your role model and why?

 

For many years I have been surrounded by amazing women. One woman that has stood out to me for many years has been my cousin Terrenda White. She is the first in my family to graduate with a PhD. This means a lot to me because I was able to watch how much work she put in during this process. Seeing how dedicated she was meant so much to me.

 

What project did you work on while at The Foundling?

 

 

During my internship I helped the Human Resources Department create information packets that explain the different benefits available to staff at The New York Foundling. The packets included information about health insurance, the organization’s Wellness Program, and how to obtain an employee ID card.

 

What will you take away from your experience at The Foundling?

 

During my time at The Foundling, I have learned that working well with others helps things run smoothly and that The New York Foundling cares about all employees no matter how long you’ve been there.

 

What piece of advice would you tell future Foundling Interns?

 

Come well rested and ready to work.

 

What is your spirit animal and why?

 

I would say my spirit animal is a bear. A bear is strong and confident. I see myself as a born leader, helpful and often in charge. Bears also like to rest and have alone time.  

 

If you could take a trip anywhere, where would you go and why?

 

I would like to visit Mvezo, South Africa. This was the place Nelson Mandela was born.

 

What is the last book you read, what are you reading now?

 

The last book I read was “Piece of Cake” by Cupcake Brown and my current book is “Giovanni’s Room” by James Baldwin.

 

Written by Foundling Guest Blogger, Stephanie Kearns, Director of Business Operations

 

A couple of weekends ago, I was frantically looking for the spout piece to match the lid of the pink and yellow cup before heading out for our play date. It must have fallen into a black hole because still today, I can’t find that piece. It’s like case of the missing sock in the dryer. Every mom and dad has a story about the hundreds of parts and pieces of the stuff that our kids accumulate but nothing is quite as maddening as the toddler cup epidemic.

 

I took this photo (attached) to showcase the myriad options that one can choose as a Sippy Cup. This is my own collection pared down.

 

Below is my personal experience of the best and worst options to help save you the headache and wasted money finding just the right one.

 

I’ve divided the options into 3 categories; spout, straw and sip and based my review on three key factors: ease of cleaning, ease of assembling, effectiveness.

 

The spout is your traditional lid with a defined spout with little holes to dispense water when your kiddo tilts the cup back. The straw is the built-in straw sucking mechanism that allows the child to hold the cup upright. Lastly the sip option which mimics the idea of an adult cup by using a lid that, when you tilt back to drink requires soft pressure of your child’s mouth to release water with slower flow than regular drinking speed.

 

Sip – this was the loser for me. The parts are extremely tough to install and if one piece isn’t in place the water dumps all over your child. With at least 4 parts on average, the likelihood of using this cup more than the first time is rare. Thumbs down!

Straw – if I had to pick a 2nd place, this would be it. There are various types of straw cups and some are better than others. The cup with the straw that retracts when you fold over a closing apparatus is the worst kind due to the very difficult installation of weaving the straw through a tiny opening every time you dismantle and clean. But the hard straw option that folds over can be pretty good as long as you keep a watchful eye on your little one since there is usually no flow stopper.

Spout-

This is the winner for me. The spout teaches your child to use a cup the way it is intended so the transition to a real cup is easier. This version also has the least amount of parts with typically 2 or 3 maximum so it is easier to take apart, clean and store parts. The downside to this version is the flow control pieces. Sometimes the removable parts that control how fast or slow the water can come out are too tight and make it hard for the child to get any water and others are too fast and cause the child to choke on water. The Playtex Playtime version has been the most successful option for my little one.

 

A few last thoughts…

 

Don’t count on the “spill proof” promise. Nothing is spill proof when it comes to a toddler! Lastly, the best piece of advice I can give you is don’t collect too many versions of cups. It is tough to remember the matching of parts and cups. You end up relying on the one cup out of twenty because you can’t match the pieces!

 

Happy sipping!